


All I Want For Christmas

by sal20nini



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anger, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Christmas, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Driving, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Funny, Gun Violence, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Knifeplay, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Nurses & Nursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27882757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal20nini/pseuds/sal20nini
Summary: Bucky Barnes has been unknowingly crushing on agent Y/N Y/LN. Unbeknownst to him, she's kinda into him too. Will the pair confess their feelings for one another on this Christmas eve mission?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 17





	All I Want For Christmas

Bucky had never understood why someone like Y/N had been recruited by S.H.I.E.L.D or whatever they were calling themselves now. I mean, yes she did a pretty good job at kicking ass but she was nothing like the other Agents. She was always smiling when he saw her in the cafeteria. Laughing with the medic in the infirmary or humming a happy tune during target practice. She was like sunshine on a rainy day.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need!" Y/N belted out. Shouting over the radio as she cleaned her knife with her feet on the dashboard.

Bucky shook his head disapprovingly.

"What?" Y/N shrugged.

"Legs off the dash! How many times do I have to tell you?" He grumbled as he drove.

"Its Christmas, Barnes. You should chill out" She complained only to receive a glare.

"Alright!" Y/N placed her legs back down. "Only if you cared about yourself as much as you care about this stupid car." She mumbled.

"Ouch" Bucky jokingly put his hand over his chest as if he had just been hit. "Words hurt Y/LN."

"The truth sure does." She smirked.

Bucky didn't know he had been watching her every day. He didn't know she had become his reason to get up in the morning. He didn't know how far he had fallen until she wasn't around anymore. It took him a week to ask Steve. He had hoped Steve wouldn't read too much into it.

Colleagues asked about each other all the time, right?

Fortunately, he didn't ask any questions. Y/N had gone on leave right after her solo mission, there was nothing else in the system as far as Steve knew. Bucky had given up on praying long ago but he gave it a shot when he prayed for Y/N's safety.

Then one day just as she had disappeared, she walked back into his life. The same smile brightened his day and the same laughter echoed in the hallway but something had happened. Bucky saw it, it took some time but he did see the sadness in her eyes that she hid so well. He was familiar with that feeling and all he wanted was to know what was hurting her. He wanted to kiss the pain away. But how could he? 

Bucky had never found the courage to tell Y/N how she made him feel. He was afraid of how she might respond. Maybe she thought he was a creep? What if she stopped greeting him with a smile when their paths crossed? All these mundane interactions were too worthwhile to risk losing for his greedy heart. 

Fortunately or unfortunately everyone was on leave to celebrate Christmas with their loved ones except for Y/N and Bucky. So here they were on their way to catch some bad guys on Christmas Eve.

"You know some of us can't sing Christmas songs while heading out to kill people right?" Bucky looked at her after a long pause.

"Well, it's not that difficult, you see, it is Christmas Eve and I'm stuck on a mission with the Grinch. So right now, a Christmas song is the only thing keeping this knife away from your throat." Bucky could feel her eyes on him. His grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"Are you forgetting that I am the Winter Soldier, Y/LN" He raised his brow.

"You know what? Now that I think about it, that could just be a fancy name for an elf" She laughed.

He couldn't help but laugh along. "That is most possibly the silliest thing I have ever heard."

There was a long silence again. The AI informed them that they were 15 minutes away from their target.

"Ready to give 'em hell, Agent?" Bucky smiled as he pulled over on the empty road.

"Heck yeah!" Y/N sheathed her knives after flipping them dramatically.

Bucky chuckled grabbing his gun from the back seat.

"I go in first. Engage only if necessary. Fury wants minimum damage." Bucky whispered as they closed in.

Y/N swung a grappling hook over the wall they were standing by. It wrapped around one of the protruding beams at the very first try. She calmly took out a pack of gum from her pocket and offered one to Bucky as she popped one in. When Bucky declined the offer, Y/N simply shrugged and popped that one in too before beginning the ascend.

Bucky doubted anyone could scale up a wall as fast as Y/N Y/LN. Not even that Parker kid.

"We've got two upfront. There are some crates out midway against the wall. Roughly ten paces. That's our best shot." Y/N's voice rang in his ear through the comms.

"Keep the distraction ready. Let me know when I'm in position." Bucky responded.

"Right there, Barnes," Y/N informed when he reached what would be their entry point. "Whenever you are ready." She said grabbing the alcohol bottle and lighter.

"On 3" Bucky replied as he placed the tiny explosives on the wall.

"One" They began the count. Y/N checked the wind again. All of this could have been avoided if Clint had just agreed to share his weapons. 

"Two" Bucky took cover a safe distance away from the wall. Y/N swung the bottle with all her might.

"Three" Bucky pressed the button, blowing up a part of the wall. Simultaneously the flaming bottle set ablaze some boxes on the other end of the compound.

Bucky used the opportunity to infiltrate the compound. He ducked behind a few boxes, his gun loaded and ready. "I've got you covered, Y/LN"

"Coming." Y/N had dashed towards the entry point right after the explosion. It was not long before she joined Bucky behind the boxes.

"Stay behind me" Bucky ordered.

Y/N nodded. She had a Glock 17 in one hand and a throwing knife in the other. 

They made their way silently through the shadows. Y/N's back pressed up against Bucky's as she covered for him.

"Two guards by the door. Knives will be more discreet. Think you ca-" Before Bucky could finish his sentence Y/N had already sprung into action. She tucked her gun in and ran ahead flinging a knife from each hand. The guards dropped to the ground even before they could register what had happened.

Y/N calmly drew the knives out from their chests and watched their eyes roll into their heads before wiping the knives on their shirts. She picked up their guns before kicking the door open. There was a moment of silence before all hell broke loose. Y/N opened fire.

"Y/LN, what are you doing? Do not engage!" Bucky shouted through the comms as he ran towards the door.

The chaos had alerted the other men. Bucky narrowly missed some of their bullets as he entered the facility.

Inside the facility, Y/N left bodies in her wake as she made her way to the control room.

"Minimum damage! What part of that do you not understand Agent!" Bucky shouted angrily.

Glasses shattered as bullets rained in through the windows. There was no way the two of them could handle so many. They had to get out of there quickly. Bucky raced to the control room.

Y/N was retrieving the hard drives which had been the sole goal of the mission which had now become unnecessarily complicated. It was supposed to be a simple mission. Sneak in, retrieve the hard drive and get out. Bucky couldn't understand how it had gotten so out of hand.

When he finally saw her face, Bucky saw that there was something unsettling about eyes. A thirst for death and destruction that he had never witnessed before. It sent a shiver down his spine.

"There. I have it." She stated with the hard drive in hand.

"Yea. No shit" Bucky murmured. "We have to get out of here, now!"

"You set this thing on fire, I'll get us out of here." She hurried out of the room.

Bucky smashed the system and picked out random wires.

"Lower level, south wing." Her voice cracked. "Shit! I've got two on me, maybe three."

"Copy." Bucky swiftly grabbed a grenade and threw it over his shoulder as he fled the room.

"There are more on the way. We need to hurry." Bucky alerted Y/N when he made his way downstairs. He hid behind the pillars as he shot at the men trying to make their way up.

"I have an opening. How long till you get here?" She asked.

"Don't wait for me," Bucky replied as he ducked behind a pillar.

"I'm not leaving without you, Barnes" He could hear gunshots behind her.

"It's an order" Bucky yelled over the cacophony.

"Buck I-" He shut the comms and leapt to the lower level, raining bullets on the gunmen.

Bullets whizzed past him and some deflected off of his metal arm. Slowly but steadily Bucky was making progress towards the south wing but the sea of gunmen didn't seem to end. If he wanted to reach the other end he was going to have to be quick.

Bucky let out a loud roar as he fired wildly. Soon enough both his guns were out of ammo and there wasn't enough time to refill. He cursed under his breath and hurled the heavy guns at the oncoming party. It hit them bang on their heads, taking them out instantly.

All he had to do now was make it past the corner. Bucky unsheathed his knife.

He slid across the floor, jabbing at legs. Once he had made it past the corner he threw another grenade behind him.

A trail of bodies led him to the exit that Y/N had found. It was a tunnel probably leading down to the sewers. Bucky ran towards it and started his descent down the dark hole, sealing the entrance behind him.

"Bucky! You made it" Y/N greeted him with a hug at the end of the tunnel. The hug took him by surprise. At that moment everything seemed right. SHE was his light at the end of the tunnel. He wrapped his arms around her, his head rested right above hers.

First hug in the sewers...great work, Barnes.

"I'm so sorry. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have eng-"

"Shhh" Bucky cut her off. He ran his hand gently over her back to calm her down. "It's alright. Let's just get out of here, okay?" He spoke softly.

Y/N broke away from him. Bucky tried his best not to look too disappointed. "Gimme your keys, I know a place." She sniffled.

Bucky hated it when anyone other than him drove his car. He reluctantly handed her the keys. The woman had almost cried. He didn't really have a choice besides they really had to get out of here.

"I promise I'll behave" She smirked as they jogged ahead.

They followed the markings to reach the manhole closest to where they had parked. 

"You go first, Y/LN"

"Why? So you can look at my ass?" Y/N argued.

"What? No! Why would you even-" Bucky was sure he was turning red. He was fortunate that the sewer was dimly lit.

"I'm just kidding. I don't mind if you look at my ass" Y/N put an end to his misery with a wink.

"Forget it! I'm going first" Bucky rushed ahead and climbed up the ladder hastily.

Y/N wolf-whistled behind him. "Those squats seem to be doing you some good, Barnes."

Bucky chose to ignore the comment. Retaliating would have just motivated her further. Moreover, it was going to be hard to mask his red cheeks under the streetlight if this continued.

Once on the street, Y/N rushed over to where the car was parked. Bucky sat in the passenger seat reluctantly.

As they sped through the empty streets Bucky couldn't help but think about their hug. He hadn't felt such warmth in a very long time. How he wished he could do that every minute of the day. He wished he could hold her close whenever he felt like. He wished he could run his fingers through her soft hair and kiss her pain away. He wished he knew what her lips felt like and how she tasted.

"Why are we pulling into an IHOP parking lot?" Bucky asked as they slowed down.

"One. Because it IS Christmas and Steve's told me how you absolutely love pancakes, so this is my Christmas gift to you Barnes and also an apology for sorta getting us killed, almost" She smiled. "Two. Before you grumble. I think an IHOP is the last place two deadly secret agents could be. They won't find us here. Trust me."

Bucky didn't know what to say. Every second with this woman was a roller coaster.

"Try to look, well, less deadly. We have to be discreet." Y/N said when she got out. "I'm going to need the backseat, can you wait outside for a bit?"

"Um, yeah, sure." Bucky rushed his words.

Bucky opened his boot and deposited the harnesses he had worn to keep his weapons. He splashed water on his face from a bottle and did his best to wipe off the dust from his clothes. He wore a jacket to cover up his arm. Lastly, he tied his hair into a little bun, the way Nat had shown him. Chicks dug that, apparently.

When he shut the boot Y/N was standing there, smiling at him. She had cleaned her face and changed her top. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail.

"Shall we?" She asked. Bucky nodded and they worked towards the IHOP. Bucky walked a few steps behind her, smiling to himself.

The place was filled with Christmas decorations and Christmas tunes played softly through the speakers. Y/N gave their order and sat silently opposite each other. Y/N had begun humming the songs.

"So...Steve told you I liked this place?" Bucky cleared his throat as his pancakes arrived.

"You know I was just asking about everyone's likes and dislikes, it's always handy during Christmas time," Y/N lied. She had asked about Bucky specifically right after she was assigned this mission. They hadn't interacted much apart from the training sessions that they had together. She had heard a lot about him through Steve and Nat. Ever since he had first joined them Y/N had been intrigued by Bucky. His quiet nature drew her in, so did his striking looks. Just one look at him and Y/N felt the need to hug reassure him. Maybe it was because of the H.Y.D.R.A stories Nat had recited. Whatever it was, she was protective of the man. He did not deserve what had happened to him. The same was true for most people at the Tower.

Y/N mentally cursed herself for not having the courage to speak to him sooner. Steve had told her about Bucky's playful side. Oh, how she wished she could've seen that side of him.

They ate their pancakes in silence.

"How do you do it?" Bucky asked finally. The usual calmness was missing from his voice.

"How do I do what?" Y/N was clearly stunned by the question. She munched on the last bit of her pancake as she waited for him to answer.

"Pretend you are okay" His tone was firm.

"I'm not pretending" She deflected.

"Yes you are, every single day since you returned" and _it breaks my heart._ He wanted to add.

"I-I don't want to talk about it" She pushed her plate forward and looked away from him.

"Y/N, I know how it is to keep all these dark thoughts to yourself. I've been there. It took me years to find myself again, hell, I'm still a work in progress" Bucky gave a small smile hoping to raise her spirits but Y/N stayed silent.

Bucky reached for her hand. "I know we haven't talked much but I've noticed you. I can see that something has happened. You don't have to fight this alone. If not me you can talk to someone else but please for the love of God please talk to someone"

Y/N squeezed his hand. Tears had pooled in her eyes.

"I-I'm not okay, Bucky," She sniffled. "I tell myself to move on, but the anger! Oh god! The rage I feel boiling inside me, I can't seem to let that go!" She shook her head and wiped away her tears. 

"What happened when you went away, doll" Bucky asked softly.

"I had completed a mission just like this one. I did as Fury ordered kept the damage to a minimum. One of the scums who survived started stalking me. He got his hands on all my files. Every single one of them. It was too late when I found out, Buck. He killed them. He killed them all." She sobbed.

"He killed my family, Bucky. He couldn't get to me so he got to them instead. They were innocent! I couldn't help them! None of this would have happened if I had just blown his head off when I had the chance." She put her head in her hands.

"Hey," Bucky ran to her side. He knelt down beside her. "Listen to me, doll." He took her hands in his. "You can't blame yourself for what happened, Y/N. You followed your orders. Those orders are there for a reason, we saw that today." He wiped her tears.

"I-I'm sorry about the mission. I realize that now. I should never have put you at risk like that" She mumbled.

"Hey, I wasn't the only one at risk. You could have been hurt too. You have to take care of yourself, doll." Bucky tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "And just so we're clear, you got us out of there, so I think you can be forgiven for that little oversight," Bucky smiled and returned to his seat. 

Y/N wiped away her tears and gave him a weak smile.

"I'm sorry about your family and I know that nothing I'm going to say is going to make you feel less responsible for what happened. But you don't have to put on an act, at least not when you're with me. I want to know what's on your mind. You can be real with me, Y/N."

Y/N kept silent as the waitress took away their plates.

"Thank you," She said when they got up to leave. "Just talking about everything right now felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders"

"Anytime" He smiled opening the door for her. The cool winter breeze made Y/N shiver. She walked closer to Bucky who wrapped an arm around her. Y/N huddled against him, taking in the warmth and his cologne. Bucky would have given her his jacket but that would have exposed his metal arm, besides this was a much better arrangement.

"I have something for you," Bucky said when they reached the car.

"For me?" Y/N looked at him in surprise.

"I got you a little something for Christmas" He produced a small box from the pocket of his jacket. "I didn't get time to wrap it but I hope you like it"

Y/N opened the small jewellery box to reveal a necklace. It had a red star with a rose detail in it.

The red star was reminiscent of the one on Bucky's arm and to Bucky the rose signified Y/N. Y/N traced the rose detail with her fingertip. Bucky wasn't sure if she had understood the symbolism, he hoped she had.

"Oh, Bucky! I love it!" She removed it from the box and put it across her neck. She turned around and let Bucky clasp it.

When she turned around, Bucky's heart skipped her beat. There she was, the most beautiful woman he had ever met, wearing the necklace he had bought for her. He bit his bottom lip nervously.

"Thank you, Buck," She said softly as she closed the gap between them. Their foreheads touched first. Bucky closed his eyes smiling. He had dreamt about this moment so many times that he had to make sure this was actually happening.

He opened his eyes to find her grinning. Her eyes darted from his lips to his blue eyes. He couldn't hold back. Not anymore.

Bucky pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her waist and crashed his lips against hers. The kiss was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. She rested her hands on his abs, pushing him against the car and deepening the kiss.

She pulled away, abruptly, out of breath, "Buck, you are bleeding," She held up her hand which had red splotches on the tips.

"Uhh-huh," Bucky looked at her hands as if in a trance. Y/N lifted up his shirt to reveal a bullet wound near his stomach.

"Oh..." Bucky says when he sees it.

"Did you seriously have pancakes with a freaking bullet inside you, Barnes?" She looked up at him.

"I-I guess. My pain threshold is kinda off the charts" He grinned.

Y/N shook her head in disapproval. "Let me patch it up for you"

"No need, doll, I don't feel a thing," Bucky countered.

"Shut up Barnes. Lie down in the backseat. Shirt off." Y/N ordered as she took the medical supplies from the glove box.

"Can't say no when you put it like that now, can I?" Bucky smirked.

Y/N crawled into the small space. She sat in the space between his legs, careful not to hurt him. Bucky had propped himself up against the opposite door, his shirt was lying on the floor of the car.

"This might sting" Y/N mumbled as she dabbed on the antiseptic carefully. Bucky only felt jolts of electricity when her fingertips brushed against his bare skin.

Her brows furrowed in concentration as she dislodged the bullet. Bucky's eyes didn't stray away from her face.

"Stop looking at me" Y/N protested.

"So first we kiss and then I can't even look at you? Is that how it's going to be Y/LN" Bucky smirked.

Y/N's heart hammered in her chest. "Just let me finish, will you."

"As you wish, doll" Bucky answered softly. Y/N never thought she would like being called that but as it turns out, she very much did.

Y/N shook the thoughts away and stitched up his wound. Bandaging it carefully.

"There you go," she smiled, proud of her work.

"Now?" His eyes flicked to hers.

Y/N bit her lip. "We pick up where we left off," She whispered.

She trailed hot kisses up his stomach earning a moan from him. Bucky reached up and untied her hair, letting it fall over him. "God, you're beautiful," he mumbled. Bucky couldn't wait anymore. He pulled her up towards him. The necklace was dangling from her neck. Bucky caught it between his teeth making her giggle. She kissed his nose playfully, making him laugh.

"This feels like a dream," Bucky whispered against her neck before sucking at the sensitive skin making her tingle.

"A dream come true," Y/N added. She kissed his cheek, slowly making her way to his lips. Bucky returned the kiss. The longing was evident.

"Merry Christmas," he mumbled against her lips. His eyes flicked to the front of the car where they could see the sun rising in the distance.

"Merry Christmas, Barnes" Y/N smiled kissing him again. She didn't care if she was going to be on the naughty list that year. She had already got the gift she wanted.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> When I wrote this I just felt like Bucky loved pancakes idk why and then I found comic book evidence that he really does and I am putting that comic strip in the end. Something inside me just told me that Bucky Barnes is a breakfast date kinda guy.


End file.
